Dumb Bike Problems

A few years ago, I had a DH tire that was impossible to get on the rim. I busted out 3 metal Pedros levers. Got the son of a bitch on. Could only find 2 levers. Oh well, the garage owns it now. Added some sealant through the valve stem, gave the wheel a spin to spread the sealant, found the lever. Somehow made it into my tire when the bead popped on. Almost gave up biking when I realized I had to take the tire off and re-mount it again.

I was squeezing my brake lever randomly at the trailhead, forgetting that I hadn’t put the back wheel back in yet and the pistons popped right out the caliper 🤦🏻‍♂️

Worked with a guy who had spent near an hour trying to adjust a front derailleur. He was a prideful sort and wasn't keen on people offering help. Finally asked me to take a look at it, I flip the cable to the other side of the pinch bolt, check the shifting and tension, and returned to my work bench without saying a word. 

It was just sweat in my eyes I swear

Yikes, these crown/stanchion pebbles are triggering. 😱 

I once had a stone get trapped between my Yeti SB6 seat stay and seat tube for a few hard compressions. Took a chunk of paint out of the seat tube but no carbon damage fortunately. Thought that frame was cooked when it happened but it's still out there being ridden. 

I was trying the cone-shaped ones and I think that was the problem. They were Stan's but I had zero luck with them. Switched to the Orange Seal valve and chose the square block instead of the cone-shaped ones (both are options) and the tires jumped onto the bead almost before I put the compressor on them. Fixed, just like that. 

To be fair, this was on a cheap set of wheels. Entry-level e-thirteen TRS. It may have just been the wheel profile at the valve hole that was the problem. In any case, the other option works far better for me! I'm on a new bike now with nicer wheels (Crankbrothers Synthesis alloy) and I'm still using the big blocks. They worked on the old bike, but they WORK on this one! I barely have to check my air pressure - it almost never changes.  

Great question. This might be the best thread on Vital.

I have so many to share, but a great one is showing up to a shuttle day with all my riding gear, a change of clothes, lunch, electrolyte drink mix, etc, but I forgot my bike. For everyone else that meant they got a designated full-time shuttle driver that day.

😆😆😆

I don't know if I'd have quit the sport, but I sure would have invented a new one - garage door hole punching using high-velocity Pedros levers. 

How long do you guys think it would take to do that again if you tried? What are the odds that the perfect-sized rock gets kicked up at the perfect angle and velocity to come down in such a way that it gets trapped right there? 

TEAMROBOTSHUTLLSYOURBIKE

I have forgotten my bike on a ride once. I feel your pain and shame. 

Tore my entire bike apart chasing a creak after checking the usual suspects. Tried everything and still couldn’t find the solution. The fix? Loosening the air can of the shock, lightly greasing the threads, and problem solved! Also had a similar instance where the UDH was not fully seated forward when tightened and would make a creaking sound when putting power through the pedals. 

Not quite the same as above, but I had an Intense SS frame with the bolt on dropouts that used two extra-long chainring bolts to hold them on.

Those dropouts would creak worse than anything you can imagine, sounded like the whole rear end were going to implode every hard pedal stroke.

I tried everything and finally found if I coated the bolts with powdered graphite I could get 3-4 days before the sound would return.

On that same bike I needed to remove one of the lower pivot bolts/axles. It had a small grub screw that helped keep it in place. I didn’t realize this and threaded the whole thing out thinking the pivot threads were bunged all while putting a perfect spiral gouge along the whole length of the smooth shoulder. 

Here's a great one from back in the day when we were running 10 speed 11-36 cassettes with those tiny Zee short cage derailleurs. When you're running such a short derailleur cage, it's extra important to nail chain length when installing a new chain, because the cage is too short to pick up any extra slack. It was easy to have a loose and dangling chain in the 11 tooth cog, and easy to have too tight of a chain in the 36.

So on the morning of a big ride, I replace an old chain in a hurry on my 27.5 GT Sanction, a bike with a healthy amount of chain growth as you cycle through the suspension. I did the quick "put the chain in the big cog, sit on the seat, and watch the derailleur" test and everything looked alright, but I notably did NOT let air out of the shock like I normally would to check chain length in the biggest cog.

Anyway, it was an 8000+ foot day with a ton of friends, many visiting from out of town specifically for this ride. At the very top of the very first climb, I'm seated in my 36 tooth cog, pedaling over a roller in the trail. As I pedal over the top of the roller and into the compression after, the suspension compresses, the chain is too tight, the derailleur stretches past its breaking point, the hanger bends, the chain drops off the inside of my cassette into the spokes, and I hear "pop, pop, pop, pop" as the chain breaks four drive side spokes in a row, which punch through my tubeless tape and give me a flat tire. Total damage: derailleur, chain, derailleur hanger, rear wheel, and a flat tire. Meanwhile, I'm going roughly two and a half miles per hour while all this is happening. 

Miracle of miracles, we're able to get my chain unstuck from where it was jammed between the cassette and rear wheel, we remove the bent sections of chain, throw a tube in the tire, and bend my derailleur and hanger straight enough that I had two usable gears for the day: a harder gear and an easier gear. It was a team effort, and somehow the formerly 32 spoke (now 28 spoke) rear wheel and 2.5" tire still cleared my chainstays on the swingarm.. I had to do a lot of standing on the pedals that day to get up the steeper climbs, but I finished the day.

Moral of the story: Always check your chain length the right way before riding.

Speaking of tubeless explosions, I once drove five hours to an XC race that started at 7:30 am the next morning in Echo, Oregon (near the middle of nowhere). I needed (read: wanted) to switch tires to something faster rolling for the race, but from 8 until 11 pm the night before the race, for the life of me, I could not get the front tire to seat. This process included driving from gas station to gas station looking for a car tire air compressor that put out enough cubic feet per minute to seat the tire, to no avail. Most of the time the front tire wouldn't seat at all, but when I did find a compressor with enough flow to seat it, the tire would promptly unseat as soon as I took the air off.

As I'm giving up on life around 11 pm, I found a Walmart Tire Center on Google maps that opened at 6 am ten miles away in Hermiston. Brilliant! The next morning, I get there when they open, explain my situation, and the kind tire store workers allowed me to use their VERY LARGE air compressor. The compressor delivered enough air to seat the tire, but again, every time I got it seated, it would promptly unseat as soon as I took the air off. After repeating this process five or so times, I decided to dump more air in there until I could get it "really seated."

Unfortunately for me, the schraeder valve on the compressor nozzle didn't have a gauge, so I can't tell you exactly how much pressure I put in there before it blew up, but I successfully coated the entire Walmart Tire Center and myself in tire sealant, got the attention of half the customers in the store, wrecked my thumb from the kevlar bead blowing off at the speed of light, and tacoed my front wheel from the blowout. People lined up at the windows of the tire center and watched me stand in numb shock, like a statue, ears ringing, covered in sealant, and clearly in pain, trying to figure out my next move. It was a great start to the day.

I ended up borrowing a 29" front wheel from the Niner demo van (thanks bearded Niner demo guy!) and survived my 32 mile race. XC racing is so freaking hard, even when you're not blowing up your front wheel. In hindsight, I wish I'd just run the slower tires and gotten a full night's sleep.

2009, first season in Whistler I ordered a new giant glory to replace a broken frame in the lead up to Crankworx, 2 hours of it being in my hands I managed to destroy it…

So when you’re young, stupid, in a hurry, and never used certain bike tools before always double check the removal tool in against the headset cup, and always check that one of the prongs didn’t slip through the steerer tube hole into the downtube then proceed to beat the shit out of it because your friend told you it’s not moving hit it harder, until the prong starts to pierce a hole in your new frame. 

I’ll see a therapist one of these days to be able to let it go 

I'll narc an old buddy out. Our team got a hell of a hook up from so many companies back in the race day. Built our bikes up. Show at SnowShoe & make the rounds of the pits thanking all our sponsors for their support. Teammate goes up to FSA & complains that there's something wrong with their headset b/c he's got play. Isn't delivered in an "inquisitive" manner, more of a "WTF" tone.

FSA rep/mech takes one look at it, never looks at my teammate & says "It's upside down."
Rep turns his back & walks off. Keeps on working.
We "BWAH HAH HAH!"  then sneak back later to apologize to the rep. 😆

I’ve done some truly dumb shit in my years riding and working on bikes. I like to think I’ve learned something from it. 

In the early days of tubeless tires and UST I was sent a sample of Slime tubeless sealant to test out. Always a fan of free and still naive enough give most new products a shot I set up my Mavic Crossmax/Hutchinson UST wheel and tire combo with some of the on brand color goop. Everything was great until I left the bike in the back of my Passat wagon one hot afternoon and came out to find my tire had blown off the rim and my off white interior was now covered in green sealant. Getting that shit out of the fabric was a giant PITA. No idea if Slime ever brought the tubeless sealant to market. 

More recently had I bought a new 3/4 coverage helmet in response to a huge crash that almost ripped my ear off. On the first descent of the first ride I hear a severe knocking coming from what I thought was the rear end of my bike. I check pivots, rear wheel, saddle, crank etc. Everything seems fine, climb back up the fire road and drop in. Same noise. Check everything again, all good. Throw my head down in frustration and notice my helmet knocking against my sunglasses. Think “no way, that can’t be it” shake my head back and fourth and sure enough. The helmet was sliding on the mips enough to contact the gasses and the noise was being amplified by the over ear construction. After adjusting the helmet fit and pushing the glasses down a touch I enjoyed a quiet day of shredding. 

Nice thread!

So, I started biking in 92 and since pupils don't have cash for workshop repairs, I was thrown into wrenching the same moment I began and never stopped. These days I am totally guilty of wrenchers' cockiness, yeah got it all covered, noone can tell me anything.

Last fall I got a Slash gen6, the one with the chain tourism, so to speak, idler pulley and additional pulley at the chain guide. From the start, the drivetrain made a slight churning sound, which disappeared when lubing the chain. Instant jump to conclusion: yeah, must be the complicated chain path, after all, the reviews mentioned extra drag in the drivetrain on this model. I do my usual thing, tearing apart most of the bike, switching parts and reassemble to have my dream bike. Living with the churning sound for around three months by relubing every ride.

Then one sunny day, ascending a road in Finale, a friend points out, that the chain is routed the wrong way inside the Shimano derailleur, rubbing constantly against the small lip in the middle of the cage. I felt so stupid for not having checked the most obvious thing, when having a drivetrain issue and even more stupid for not checking for around three months. Dinner was on me that evening. 

Just last week, I started to get a new rattle in the front end of the bike. It sounded pretty bad, like a very loose bolt, after a few minutes I started to worry that it might even be a loose ball bearing wandering around my headset. I eventually stopped riding and discovered my handlebars were acting like a rainstick/maracas... WTF?

Turns out I had slid out the previous ride and damaged my grip, I had replaced them when I got home with some silicone ones I had in the garage (supergluing them in the process...). Except during the crash some pebbles and entered into my handlebars 🤦‍♂️

I bought some Hopes 4 V4

I've bleeded them like 50 times, but sometimes the lever still comes to the bar...

Great thread. I'll share my own..
Been working in the industry for years now in various roles, this has turned me into my non-bike friends go to person for anything bike related. A friend hit me up to change his pedals for him - not a problem, bring the bike over, I've worked in shops for years, and changed thousands of pedals. 

My friend comes over, throw his bike in the work stand, swap one pedal, come around to the other, it doesn't thread on, he watched me struggle for 10 minutes or so, I thought to myself, the thread in the crank must damaged, it's just not catching the first thread no matter what I tried. Having nothing to chase the thread at home - I told him I'd chase it at work the next day and return the bike back to him. 

He left, I left the bike alone bit annoyed at myself. Came back to it an hour later, just to try one last time - pedal went in without an issue. Turns out I'd just been spinning it the wrong way the whole time in front of him.. performance anxiety? 

Really loving this thread.

Roughly 10 years ago, buddy who was very green just buys his first bike, a Cannondale Jekyll 1 with the weird Fox Dyad pull shock and a 34 Talas up front. He'd been riding it for about a week or two before we got our first ride together, and the moment we start riding he complains that he's been having a really hard time with his suspension setup and feels the bike really unbalanced on the downhills, like if he's gonna go over the front all the time. 

I do find it a bit weird so we stop mid-climb and I actually take a proper look at his bike and just let out a short "ha". Reach for the top of his fork, give the Talas lever a flick and his fork just pops up an extra 30mm. The surprised look on his face and not knowing what the hell I just did was pretty priceless, I used the rest of the climb to explain how his fork works.

X2.

Multiple times i have reinstalled/replaced a Shimano 12V derailleur and spent a long time understanding why the chain length is suddenly all out of wack.

The stupid little plastic spacer that goes between the B tension screw and hanger always end up on the wrong side of the hanger if you forget about it, and I often do... 

I do this all the time, too.

I recently performed a lowers service on my fork so I took the opportunity to clean and regrease my headset. I'm dropping into the first trail since the service and I immediately hear and feel a loud clunk and my entire front end feels like it gives way. After inspection I realized I installed the lower bearing upside down so the chamfered edge was not seated properly in the headset cup. The force pushed the inner race upwards into the cavity of the headset cup so I'm left on the trail with a nearly exploded bearing wondering what to do (easily 2+ hours of walking to get to the car). Since the inner race held on just enough to keep the ball bearings in I ended up placing the bearing on a flat rock and using another rock to pound it back into place. I finished the ride and I'm still using the bearing. LOL

As a teen riding street I broke a chain on one of our night rides. As one would expect, none of us had tools. Found a brick, 2x4, and a chunk of concrete and bashed it back together as carefully as possible. Held for a month+

You sir, may have won. TBF I caught myself doing this exact thing but after the 3rd whack didn't produce any movement I stopped and took a peek. 

Might be the best Stan's creampie story yet.