To answer your title question: not beyond mid-range GX/XT. Similarly for full bikes, I always go for the lowest or second lowest build and upgrade little by little. Regarding your actual points which are with regards to destroying rims and derailleurs. I used to destroy all my equipment in record time, the biggest thing that changed this was switching to clipped in pedals. I ride just as fast as before, but I barely ever have mechanicals. Rims can be a bit of a gamble: I had somewhat high end Mavic rims that needed changing every other year, cheapish Spank rims...