Edited Date/Time
8/18/2014 10:13am
I've found some gross things on trails before. Dead things, spines of animals, weird wolf poop, blood lougies, so on and so forth. But today I was up in the middle of no where, probably hadn't seen another person on the trail in about 45 minutes.... when right there in the middle of the trail was some floozy's discarded thong.
Was there a dead hooker in a shallow grave just off the trail being picked apart by birds using her hair and clothing scraps for nest building materials? Was Brick Tamland right- do their periods actually attract bears? Or was some one just getting busy in the woods and then in mid-hike back to civilization, they got sick of the chaffing?
But like you would do with a rattlesnake, I found myself a good long stick, longer than the potential danger ('cus panties and rattlesnakes can only strike half the length of their bodies, right Dave Cullinan?), and maneuvered it off the trail and went about my day getting lost on a really amazing trail network.
Was there a dead hooker in a shallow grave just off the trail being picked apart by birds using her hair and clothing scraps for nest building materials? Was Brick Tamland right- do their periods actually attract bears? Or was some one just getting busy in the woods and then in mid-hike back to civilization, they got sick of the chaffing?
But like you would do with a rattlesnake, I found myself a good long stick, longer than the potential danger ('cus panties and rattlesnakes can only strike half the length of their bodies, right Dave Cullinan?), and maneuvered it off the trail and went about my day getting lost on a really amazing trail network.
a while back riding joaquin miller in the oakland hills,
my buddies & i came up on a skinny lil 120 lb brother
all doggied up on a huge 300+ pounder -- wished i had a helmet cam
just for his look alone! he tripped for @ a half second, then got back ta work!
The look on their faces when a bunch of guys in FF helmets and body armor showed up was worth it alone.
2.) homeless fella taking a deuce under a bridge
I think i found the match to that. look around there might be a match to my blue one somewhere.
Other notables; a pile of cleaned salmon carcasses, the contents of a cat box, blood stained tighty whiteys, two dudes mid-coitus...oh, and don't forget the worst thing of all, 8" DEEP POST HOLES FILLED WITH HORSE PISS!!!
Riding down a flowy singletrack, started to hear rustling to my right. Checked over and didn't see anything. It got louder and closer, so I decided to stop. About 12 feet from me was a giant bull and cow moose running along side the trail. I hang out for a minute or two before starting cautiously back on the trail. About 60 feet from where I stopped, the tracks of the moose came into the trail and followed it for 200 feet before running off back into the trees.
Just yesterday, went out for couple shuttle runs. While waiting at the top for some other cronies to get geared up, one of my customers from the shop pulls up in his car to start a hike. Started talking to him, and about half way through I notice a used condom sitting 2 feet behind him. Awkward to keep talking as I looked at him, looked down and there it was. Looked at him, back to the condom. Unfortunate because he was an older, well kept, clean individual who probably wouldn't have seen the humor in it that I was.
And, since my boss doesn't post, I'll fill in for him; He found a dead rider in the trail while riding in Phil's World in Cortez, Co this spring. The rider, kitted up as a racer, had past them in the trail not too far back. When they came upon him, he was in the bottom of a g-out, already gone, helmet smashed in, face bloodied. Guess was he went to fast into at the top of the g-out, and fell to the bottom a good 20 feet to his head.
Second worse was this... right in the middle of the trail. Rest of it was just off the trail, still with some skin on it. Not sure what got it as the trail isn't up in the hills or anything, must have been dogs?
A couple going at it in their Saab convertable - with the top down - about a mile back in the woods. Worst part was that they were convinced that they were deep in the backcountry.
This spring I was out for a night ride and was climbing up a fire road to the first downhill of the ride. It was sunset and there's a lovely view at the top right before the trail. Happened to stumble across my ex and her new boyfriend in the back of his Jeep.
Oh and this one time I saw a Chupacabra.
- Fuck yeah Santa Cruz.
Ten or so years ago, while riding the horse trails on the American River Parkway in Sacramento, I made a wrong turn. Not long after I split off the main route, I came to a small clearing where the trail ended. While turning around, I noticed a half a dozen pictures scattered face down in the grass. At this point the best thing for anyone to have done was to suppress their curiosity and start riding back the way they came. As you can all guess, that's not what I did. Before I knew it I had one of those pictures in my hand. I was standing over my bike, still out of breath, covered in sweat, and staring at the glossy back of a white framed Polaroid. Without even hesitating, I flipped it over. The image had only a teeny fraction of a second to burn into my eyes before I dropped the picture and took off as fast as I could, but none the less, it was long enough. I can to this day remember exactly what that photo looked like and I probably always will, no matter how hard I might try to forget.
decapitated seagulls
bloody hatchet
human skull (ssooo sketch)
and a little patch of some growin ganja crop
and my most memorable one was a little gold nugget I found in a stream
Oh, and my pap was giving me a ride to a trail and some bike was sitting there. Came back 2 days later was still there.
So I just took it and put and Ad that I found it, because you never really know. Then it got stolen outta my garage :/.
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