SICK OF YOUR BIKING PHOTOS ON INSTAGRAM NOT GETTING ENOUGH LIKES?
You’ve eliminated thigh-gap from all of your riding kits…You’ve purchased the latest iPhone with portrait mode… You’re constantly late for work because you insist on shooting at sunrise… You even purchased a trendy enduro helmet and ultra-fast glasses… Damn you look good! And, to top it all off, every tool, pump and tube is now attached to your bike with the latest straps and gadgets.
Does it seem like no matter what you try, nothing seems to boost those numbers? Well, we have a scientifically proven solution for you!
INTRODUCING THE ALL-NEW KONA INSTANT TRAIL DOG!
We’ve taken the latest non-Darwinian principles and created a new paper technology we’ve dubbed E40. In its raw form, E40’s molecules flow freely, allowing it to be a soft and flexible paper, but when shaken, they lock together to form a rigid, cardboard-like state. Now, thanks to Kona, you can have all the benefits of dog ownership without any of the poo!
Kona’s Instant Trail Dog fits in your pocket or trendy-hand-made-hip-pack and simply unfolds trailside to give you all the social media benefits of dog ownership in an instant!
“Before my instant trail dog, I had to rely on my real trail dog for attention. He’s great and all, but picking up his poop was stressing me out and making me smell so bad! Now I can just use the foldable Roscoe version and there’s no cleanup! I get great photos and smell awesome! Thanks, Kona Instant Trail Dogs!”
“Before using my foldable trail dog, I was so busy trying to get Fluffy to scrub jumps like a pro. But it turns out a Basset Hound is just not that good at jumping. Or running. Or doing anything quickly. My Kona Foldable Olive makes me feel like I have a real trail dog and gives Fluffy the rest she deserves. No more tired, squatty legs for her. My last photo got 3,141.5 likes! We both win!”
No more friends with dogs getting way more likes than you on social media!
No more pretending like you’re gonna pick up your dog poo when you really just flick it into the bushes!
No more getting dog hair on absolutely everything!
No more wet dog smell!
No more having to be responsible for another creature’s safety and well-being!
Kona Instant Trail Dog tester Seb tests out a prototype model.
Order your instant trail dog now and become the influencer you’ve always dreamed of!
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