The Axe-Wielding Girlfriend vs. Santa Cruz Bronson

Create New Tag

3/27/2018 10:02 AM

WOW! the axe marks are crazy! is it real? no idea, but it sure looks like Jason, Freddy and Michael had their way with this Bronson.

Comment contest?
- Uh, hey Santa Cruz...is this under warranty?
- The New Santa Cruz Hatchet

https://cnj.craigslist.org/bik/d/crazy-axe-welding-girlfriend/6518369974.html




|

3/27/2018 10:17 AM

Interestingly he refers to his "girlfriend" multiple times, but never his "ex-girlfriend".

|

3/27/2018 10:35 AM

the famous JRA warranty in action. "I was just riding along and my ax wielding girlfriend came after me"

|

3/27/2018 10:45 AM

If Tiger Woods was a mountain biker circa Thanksgiving '09

|

3/27/2018 10:53 AM

That bike looks easier to fix than that relationship.

|

3/27/2018 11:10 AM

tractionmag wrote:

That bike looks easier to fix than that relationship.

+1

|

3/27/2018 11:11 AM

But the radio still works, clear as a bell.

|

3/27/2018 11:22 AM

wow. this might be my worst nightmare for my Bronson. well that, no visors, and lycra

|

3/27/2018 11:35 AM

hell hath no fury like a woman with an axe. That’s terrifying, lucky she didn’t cut you in half. Poor Bronson

|

3/27/2018 12:00 PM

And people worry about rock strikes.. Look at the beating it took!

|

3/27/2018 12:27 PM

Went riding instead of helping clean the house

|

3/27/2018 12:43 PM
Edited Date/Time: 3/27/2018 12:44 PM

wow, good testiment to santa cruz durability. That took a lot of work.

|

3/27/2018 12:53 PM

That’s a fierce hatchet wound. The bike looks messed up too

|

3/27/2018 1:16 PM

The aftermath of:
Guy sits down.
Starts watching DEATHGRIP.
Girlfriend walks over and "says there's something I need to tell you."
Guy continues watching DEATHGRIP with an "Uh Ha".
Girlfriend screams "WE'RE PREGNANT"!!!
Guy continues watching DEATHGRIP with an "Uh Ha".
Guy continues watching DEATHGRIP with sounds of cracking carbon and swearing in the background.
Bronson DIES...
Craigslist ad goes up.
Guy now needs diaper money.
#onlyinjersey

|

3/27/2018 1:20 PM

its obvious she did it cuz he's a punter. white pedals and all those spacers under the stem. probly couldnt keep up with her on the downhills ether

|

3/27/2018 1:52 PM

NWDommen wrote:

wow, good testiment to santa cruz durability. That took a lot of work.

My thoughts exactly. Look how many strikes that thing took before it broke! Next time someone questions carbon frames, I'm showing them this.

|

3/27/2018 3:49 PM

I just thought that was the new MY19 Santa Cruz Super H8?

|

3/27/2018 4:18 PM

Don’t fuck with Jersey girls!

|

3/27/2018 4:32 PM

Yuroshek wrote:

Don’t fuck with Jersey girls!

Hahahah.. Bat Shit Crazy!

|

3/27/2018 5:12 PM

As someone who handled warranties at a bike shop that did a lot of carbon frames, part of my job was to destroy defective frames and send pictures to the manufacturers. I cannot stress how hard this must have been to do. Only a new Jersey woman could exhibit this amount of strength through rage. I've put frames in vice clamps and cranked them down as hard as I can and all I got was a few stress fractures. This is one woman I would not want to cross.

|

I try to do less thinking and more sending.

3/27/2018 6:50 PM

Jdub004 wrote:

As someone who handled warranties at a bike shop that did a lot of carbon frames, part of my job was to destroy defective frames and send pictures to the manufacturers. I cannot stress how hard this must have been to do. Only a new Jersey woman could exhibit this amount of strength through rage. I've put frames in vice clamps and cranked them down as hard as I can and all I got was a few stress fractures. This is one woman I would not want to cross.

I don't know man. I work in a shop too and I've seen a lot of easy breaks go back for warranty, including a co-worker who broke his without even crashing. Near crash, tank slapper, knee hits top tube, crack! I don't think I'll ever buy carbon. Quite happy with aluminum thanks. And my girlfriend has a battle axe. Two swings, two pieces. No problem.

|

3/27/2018 9:37 PM

unskilled wrote:

But the radio still works, clear as a bell.

Funny as that may seem that with all this mess, it's the only thing that's working.

|

3/28/2018 4:05 AM

you have serious issues with your girlfriend bro. LOL

|

3/28/2018 7:34 AM

Who buys a carbon frame with Deore and no dropper post? I think she was just telling him to buy aluminum next time.

|

3/28/2018 8:50 AM

My estranged aunt did something similar to my late uncle's Orbea road bike. I honestly thought it was a joke when I heard about it. Nope.

|

3/28/2018 10:18 PM

Jdub004 wrote:

As someone who handled warranties at a bike shop that did a lot of carbon frames, part of my job was to destroy defective frames and send pictures to the manufacturers. I cannot stress how hard this must have been to do. Only a new Jersey woman could exhibit this amount of strength through rage. I've put frames in vice clamps and cranked them down as hard as I can and all I got was a few stress fractures. This is one woman I would not want to cross.

Big Bird wrote:

I don't know man. I work in a shop too and I've seen a lot of easy breaks go back for warranty, including a co-worker who broke his without even crashing. Near crash, tank slapper, knee hits top tube, crack! I don't think I'll ever buy carbon. Quite happy with aluminum thanks. And my girlfriend has a battle axe. Two swings, two pieces. No problem.

Two years ago I would have agreed with you but the Carbon they are coming out with nowadays is damn near bullet proof. Especially wheels. I'm not saying I haven't encountered my share of cracked carbon frames, but minor carbon damage can be repaired to look as good and as strong as new. Plus carbon will never dent or bend. And the difference in ride quality is night and day. Like shopping cart vs. Ferrari.

|

I try to do less thinking and more sending.